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Just Can't Sing: The Midlife Crisis Vanity Album From Some Random Guy in St. Paul

by Marc Conklin

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1.
Everything visible in our solar system Fills up less than one trillionth of the available space Optimism is a form of denying reality One can only deceive others When one can first deceive oneself Only humans care about their legacy So go ahead, write your one-man show Go ahead, craft your sonnet Go ahead, structure your haiku We are in denial of denial itself Man is only truthful when He acknowledges himself to be a liar The human race’s greatest achievement Is the discovery of zero So go ahead, write your logline Go ahead, brainstorm your memoir Go ahead, do that crochet project There are more galaxies in the universe Than people that have ever lived Modern human beings have existed for 0.0001 percent of Earth's history We have fossils for only one of every 120,000 species that have ever existed So go ahead, make your hand-crafted shoelaces Go ahead, make your artisan swizzle sticks Go ahead, make your vanity album
2.
When I was young You never even gave me a second look A second thought A second chance to prove it I always knew I could have a life Only You could dream I just needed some time To get through it I may not be there yet But some day you’ll regret you didn’t believe Someday you will see You underestimated me I’m not the guy you thought I’d be You owe me an apology Some time’s gone by And you probably think I’m still that quiet guy You never knew that I could have ambition That’s all right, ’cuz I’m about to get what I deserve A little more love And a lot more recognition I may not be there yet But some day you’ll regret you didn’t stay You could’ve had your chance But then you turned your back And you walked away [Chorus/Solo] Some day you will know When I get tired of lyin’ low I will destroy the status quo I’ll be the king of rock ’n’ roll You’ll see my name on the marquee I’m thanking the Academy I’ll strike another victory pose And talk some smack with Charlie Rose Someday ...
3.
I can’t sleep, in too deep Wish I could start it over now Back in time, back in rhyme I’d do it but I don’t know how Incomplete, got no beat Sometimes I forget to breathe You’re the one that I love But I don’t know what I see in me I think it’s time that you should know I’m tired of trying not to let it show All the leaves are gone and it looks like snow And I’m hanging on by letting go And you won’t see me before I shut the door All the blame, and the shame I don’t know any other way Every day slips away There’s so much more that I could say
4.
Never really knew you But I should have known Everything you made was not your own You said you were an artist Underpaid and overdrawn And no one understands you ’til you’re gone I still remember The last words that you said You said I’m better off dead That’s what you said You said I’m better off dead And I still remember The last words that you said You said I’m better off dead You said it’s all an illusion Everything’s the same ‘Cuz nothing in this world can ever change If no one really sees you No one knows your name Then no one can ever love you That’s a shame … I’m better off dead You’re better off dead They’re better off dead We’re better off dead Drop dead
5.
I don’t want you to leave me I don’t want you to stay I want you forever But just not today I know you can’t hear me When I’ve got nothing to say But I need you to see me Even when I’m far away Sometimes I go missing My mind goes astray I’m awake in the night And I’m so dead in the day I know I can choose it It’s not like there’s only one way But I’m afraid if I lose it Maybe I won’t be the same And that’s why I stay All alone, even when I’m right next to you All alone, I’m thinking you feel it, too All alone, I wish there was something I could do When you stand in the middle You see every side And they see you back In every crack you try to hide I wish I had something to run to But I’ve got no spaces left to fill My escape never ends And I won’t rest until I no longer feel I don’t want you to leave me I want you to stay But I told you I loved you And you looked away.
6.
You get the window I’ll hold the ladder I’ll hold the ladder You get the window I’ll hold the ladder Hand you the window I’ll hold the ladder Hand you the window I’ll hold the ladder You place the window I’ll hold the ladder You place the window You clean the window I’ll hold the ladder I’ll hold the ladder You clean the window I’ll hold the ladder You break the window You break the window I’ll hold the ladder You hold the ladder I’ll fix the window I’ll fix the window You hold the ladder
7.
Tooth fairies and rabbit paws Lucky sevens and Santa Claus Be all that you can be Buy one and get two free Salvation and sacrifice Don’t you worry, you’ll never die You’re special in every way And everything’s gonna be okay I know it, you know it, too I’d like to believe it, But I know it’s not true Cowboys and mavericks Everyone above average You’re one of the few And it was all created for you Like secret codes and superfoods Nostradamus and the Delphi dude Just think it, and it’ll come true Cut the cord, get on board Two by two Tarot cards and crystal balls The notion that you ever loved me at all Screw you
8.
Don’t bore me Give me something to think about Don’t ignore me Give me something to think about I know you’re ready You’re ready to go But tell me something I don’t already know Maybe you don’t like Hanging with my kind Infatuated with the mind Don’t leave me in so much pain Forget your body I want inside your brain Don’t tease me Give me something to think about Don’t always agree Give me something to think about I need to know that this is more than a date So give me something I can ruminate I know you don’t like Hanging with my kind Infatuated with the mind Don’t leave me in all this pain Forget your body I want inside your brain Don’t bore me Give me something to think about Don’t ignore me Give me something to think about
9.
She asked me how tall I was Then she asked again Every moment the world starts anew It must be kinda strange To look around At all the faces trying not to look at you I don’t know how, I don’t know why All I know is I won’t say goodbye I know you’re there, taking your time And I know that I’m the next in line But I won’t run, I might hide I won’t laugh, I’ll probably cry I might get mad, but I won’t know why I won’t recall Anything at all After all On a summer Sunday I’d ask him about his life He’d tell me the same stories every time The details disappear The meaningful remains A story never spoken always dies I don’t know when, I don’t know why All I know is I never said goodbye I know you’re there, taking your time And I know that I’m the next in line Some day I’ll listen To the music in the air I’ll hear the notes, but I won’t know the song Then you’ll take my hand, and tell me that it’s mine And I’ll know that I won’t have too long I won’t know how, I won’t know why This is how I say goodbye I know you’re there, taking my time And I wonder who’s the next in line They won’t run, they might hide They won’t laugh, they’ll probably cry They might get sad, but they won’t know why They won’t recall anything at all After all.
10.
I can turn a phrase I can spin a yarn I’ve been known to write a line or two I can tell a story In many different ways But there’s just one thing I can’t do I taught myself to play guitar By watching MTV Been doing it since I was just 13 I can strum and I can pick And I can play some blues Unfortunately, I just can’t sing Oh, I know I know that I will suffer ’til I die But still I’ll try I know that I am capable Of doing many things But oh my god I just can’t fuckin’ sing From grade school to grad school I always got an A I did all right on my SATs I’ve taught myself to juggle And how to drive a clutch But singing in tune, not so much Back when I played Little League I made the All Star Team In basketball, I was The Most Improved But when I’d try to sing a song With this old stupid voice The girls were never moved I don’t need no golden throat Just a vocal range of more than three damn notes And if I can’t have a cool voice that’s mind Jeff Tweedy’s will do just fine Yeah that would ease my mind I know I should be grateful For damn near everything But Jesus Christ, I still wish That I could sing

about

"With nine songs performed by stellar Twin Cities vocalists and a tenth (fittingly) sung by the writer, 'Just Can't Sing' isn't necessarily a concept album, but it does get at the heart of an interesting contradiction: Just as sometimes the best way to truly see your home country is to step outside of it, sometimes the best way to find your own voice is to turn it over to someone else."

—Anonymous

credits

released May 20, 2018

Recorded at Cedar Tone Sound, Minneapolis
Produced by Marc Conklin & Corey Hess
Engineered & Mixed by Corey Hess
Mastered by Rob Schlette, Anthem Mastering
Cover Design by Troy Brandt, Eleven Design Co.

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Marc Conklin

Marc Conklin is a Minnesota-based ghostwriter, screenwriter and songwriter. His newest release is a 5-song concept EP called "Seven Long Days." His first album, "Just Can't Sing," consists of 10 tracks, each performed by a different Twin Cities vocalist. The song "Someday" received airplay on alternative station 89.3 The Current in St. Paul. ... more

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