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Sung by non-singer-songwriter Marc Conklin. This song inspired the concept for the album.


I can turn a phrase
I can spin a yarn
I’ve been known to write a line or two
I can tell a story
In many different ways
But there’s just one thing I can’t do
I taught myself to play guitar
By watching MTV
Been doing it since I was just 13
I can strum and I can pick
And I can play some blues
Unfortunately, I just can’t sing

Oh, I know
I know that I will suffer ’til I die
But still I’ll try
I know that I am capable
Of doing many things
But oh my god
I just can’t fuckin’ sing

From grade school to grad school
I always got an A
I did all right on my SATs
I’ve taught myself to juggle
And how to drive a clutch
But singing in tune, not so much
Back when I played Little League
I made the All Star Team
In basketball, I was The Most Improved
But when I’d try to sing a song
With this old stupid voice
The girls were never moved

I don’t need no golden throat
Just a vocal range
of more than three damn notes
And if I can’t have a cool voice that’s mind
Jeff Tweedy’s will do just fine
Yeah that would ease my mind

I know I should be grateful
For damn near everything
But Jesus Christ, I still wish
That I could sing


from Just Can't Sing: The Midlife Crisis Vanity Album From Some Random Guy in St. Paul, released May 20, 2018
Vocals: Marc Conklin
Drums: Paul Loughridge
Bass: Joe Sheehan
Guitars: Marc Conklin


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Marc Conklin

Marc Conklin is a Minnesota-based ghostwriter, screenwriter and songwriter. His newest release is a 5-song concept EP called "Seven Long Days." His first album, "Just Can't Sing," consists of 10 tracks, each performed by a different Twin Cities vocalist. The song "Someday" received airplay on alternative station 89.3 The Current in St. Paul. ... more

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